swiftly flows the days
by the milliner's rook
Summary: She learns to hate sunsets in his absence.


Written for Day 2 of HitsuKarin Week 2014. Prompt: Sunrise and Sunset.

* * *

She learns to hate sunsets in his absence. She doesn't know at what point it began, but one day she woke up and knew that she didn't like sunsets anymore.

She misses him. That's part of it.

Karin misses him, and seeing a sunset reminds her of him, and every part of her aches, though she doesn't know why. She refuses to find out why, pushing the thought away in favour of something, anything else.

She settles for the thought that she doesn't like being left hanging. No one does. But then no one she knows talks about the hope that slowly gets crushed and there's something about the rest of the world that leaves her feeling brittle—and all because she wakes up groggy on the wrong side of the bed, and the sunsets on those days only serve to sour her mood.

* * *

She sits on the grass, knees tucked into her chest, hands flat on the ground. She tried once, to rest on the metal, but that got too uncomfortable. She tries to imagine what he sees. She tries to think about what home is for him and how it's not soccer on a playing field.

The thing is, Toushirou never told her what Soul Society is like, so she has nothing but a sunset on a hill to go by.

It doesn't seem fair to imagine him here beside her, and make up details that only he would know.

She had her chance to ask, and now she's lost it.

It hardly seems right, but that's how it is.

* * *

She wonders if they're connected by something more intrinsic than words can ever describe. It wasn't like this with Ichi-nii, when he went away and came back and she's never had the chance to test out her theory with Yuzu. Karin thinks about it all the same.

He doesn't text her. In fact, he never gave her his number, probably suspecting that she'd pester him the entire time, and the thought makes Karin laugh. She'd only do that when she's feeling particularly sneaky.

He doesn't text her, but Karin knows whenever he's in town. Karakura is a small place, but this goes beyond the grapevine.

It's more than wishful thinking.

It's a feeling in her gut, a rush of blood to the heart, a prickle against her skin, and she just _knows._

He makes the world off-balanced and Karin has no idea how she can sense him like that. She keeps meaning to ask how he's a blip on her radar, for all the good she's done to ignore and repress the spiritual side of her, his presence is something that she can't ignore. But somehow, when she sees him, she's too happy just to spend time with him and the question slips her mind until he's gone.

When it happens on weekends, and Karin has overslept yet another day, waking up and noticing something different in her peripheral vision, that's how she knows he's here.

That alone makes the day feels brighter.

* * *

Karin is in class, the next time he drops by. She's staring out the window, jealous of the outdoor sun that doesn't have to listen to the teacher drone on and on and on, but his presence registers in the back of her mind. There's just enough time to hide her smile with the back of her hand when the teacher calls her name, and she feigns yawning instead, before asking what the question was and the teacher, annoyed, repeats himself.

No matter how tempting it is, she can't cut class. So she returns to resting her head in her hands, and being a bad student because that habit should run through the family, if not by Yuzu, then at least by her.

* * *

She buys a packet of sweets, and remembers too late that he prefers bitter food because Toushirou's not even secretly an old man. He is very obviously a grumpy old man and Karin wouldn't have him any other way.

* * *

"You're late." Toushirou states and Karin can't suppress a surge of glee when she notices that he's wearing casual jeans and an unbuttoned shirt.

"Excuse me; _I'm_ on time, elementary student." Karin calls back, feeling playful. She laughs as his temper bursts, and he insists _yet again_ that he is _not_ an elementary student, he is a captain, a very important captain, and he should be treated with _respect._ Respect that he knows that he not going to get from her, Karin adds silently, because that's the true definition of friendship. "Good to see you too."

He grumbles, and waits for her to join him, making room for her as she sits beside him.

"How'd you know I was here?"

"Intuition." Karin deadpans, meaning that somewhere along the way they always end up meeting like this, on the hill that they first met. This was their meeting place, their routine, and she's kind of possessive about that fact.

She's not going to tell him how many sunsets she's spent here, waiting to see if he'd drop by, all because of a twist in the gut and she missed him so much she couldn't stand it. Those days weren't even—she _knew_ he wasn't there. But she'd hoped, all the same.

His green eyes narrow, scrutinizing her as he demands. "What took you so long?"

"Were you worried?" Karin teases, and then answers after a beat. "I bought something for you." She opens her back, rummaging through until she finds it, a packet of sugared red beans. "I remembered you liked them, so."

"Thanks." Toushirou says, and the sunset seems to have reached here too early, because his cheeks look like they're glowing pink. Her gaze flicks back to the sky, and it's as blue as it has always been.

It must be her imagination.

"Are you staying here long?" Karin asks, changing the subject. She stretches her legs and decides to lie on the hill inside of sit. The sun will set whenever it wants, and they have plenty of time to pass until then.

His answer is a noncommittal sound that she takes a yes.

"I have some time off."

"Oh really?" Karin grins, pleased, sitting up lightly, hair messier than it was before. "Then we should play soccer while we still have the chance. Should we really stay here?"

Mulishly, he mutters, "I like the view here."

Karin glances at the sun through the corner of her eye, and redefines hate with indifference. "It's alright." Karin frowns, chest tight, before the feeling leaves her. There are better things to watch than a sunset. "I think I prefer sunrises."

He smirks at her, and it's not supposed to be that attractive, not while she's harbouring a crush on him. "Karin, I know for a fact that you sleep at any chance you get. I bet you've never gotten up at five in the morning."

She has, actually. She woke Yuzu up because the birds were singing and they'd forgotten to close the curtains, so the light crept through and woken her. She'd seen the reds and yellows and oranges swirl into one pretty picture that could only last for five minutes, with momentary flashes of purple streaks, and then it was gone, and she'd shut the curtains and gone back to sleep.

"Maybe." Karin's grin widens when she notices his incredulous expression. "After all, why watch a sunrise when I'd rather be sleeping?"

He rolls his eyes. "Typical."

"Why waste sleep?" Karin leers, adding, "after all, studies have shown that sleep makes people taller. So the more sleep you have, the taller you'll get."

"That can't be true."

"That's _science._" She likes to emphasis the word to show it's true worth, and not at all an abuse of mischief and then she has a light bulb-moment, and it's too good to be left unsaid. "Ichi-nii used to sleep all the time, and look how tall he is now. Think about it."

He doesn't answer for a long time, but she can feel his eyes on her, and it becomes a little bit harder to hide the blush that spreads over her face.

She looks away and wonders how they missed the beginning of the sunset.

Today's sunset isn't so bad.

Karin likes the layers of red that fall on Toushirou's pale face and make it look like he's glowing. It's easier to pretend that he's human, like this. Sunlight seeps into his skin, and it's in the quiet moments like this that Karin thinks she could spend a lifetime watching sunsets she didn't particularly care for if it meant that she was with him.

Sunsets were more interesting when he was around anyway.

"Tell me what it's like." Karin says, leaning into him, warmth sparking as their shoulders bump. It's not just the strangeness of the _gigai_, nor the depth of her crush, that makes the action seem so intimate. "Over there."

"Alright," Toushirou agrees, his voice softer than it usually is, and Karin resists the urge to curl up beside him even more, and instead just relaxes and listens to him talk, while he looks at the sunset, his expression turning nostalgic.

He tells her about the street that he lived on, the house at the end of the road, the people he knew, but never too well. He tells her about the shop that he visited often, and that it was the first time he met Matsumoto. He tells her all this, while keeping his eyes on the slowly darkening sky.

Karin can imagine it now, seeing the image slowly being put together like an abstract painting, and unfinished puzzle. But it's not hard to add in more strokes, and make his feelings of wistfulness almost tangible.

"It sounds nice," she murmurs, basking in the dimming light, and wondering when she got so sleepy. And hungry, come to think of it.

"I'll show you, one day." Toushirou says, standing up and offering her a hand.

"Yeah, you can count on it." His hand is steady and he pulls her up easily. "Thanks." She says again, feeling a little useless. Try as she might, she can't suppress a yawn.

"You want me to walk you home?" Concerned, his mouth presses into a thin line, while he waits anxiously for his answer.

"I'm good," Karin shakes her head, and hopes that the flare of heat isn't as noticeable as it feels. "Thanks for the offer though."

She stumbles as she takes a step back, and decides that maybe it's better for her just to give into his offer. It's getting dark, so her embarrassment won't be obvious, and so she lets him walk her home and wishes him goodnight.

* * *

Five in the morning and death is in the air.

"Has anyone told you that you are a _horrible_ person?" Karin grumbles, squinting instead of opening her eyes properly and succeeding in half the battle at avoiding things left discarded on the floor in order to reach the window.

"You said you liked sunrises." Toushirou points out, and makes himself comfortable on the window that she's just opened. "I thought we should watch one."

It's hard to resist the urge to shove him out and pray that he falls to a violent death.

"What happened to appreciating _sleep?"_ Karin groans, and yawns again. Her head falls to his shoulder, and it's okay, she thinks, because she's not properly awake just yet. She'll get her bearings in twenty minute, after all this has happened, and then she can return to sleep, and curse his name. "What happened to that valiant attempt to making yourself _taller?_"

"I don't trust your science." Toushirou flatly replies and that's hysterical, coming from a no-nonsense _shinigami,_ even if it's five in the morning, a time when no one should be awake.

"The day I get taller than you is the day you will eat your words." Karin taunts him, and that challenge is all she needs to regain her bearings. If she's watching the sunrise, she might as well get comfortable. "It's going to happen, just you wait."

He smirks. "Doubt it."

Karin glares at him, but the effect is lost since her hair is a mess and her pyjamas are crumpled and she smells of sleep and there's something on her brain that hasn't quite switched on just yet. There's a reason why this probably isn't a good idea, but for the life of her, she can't put her finger on it.

Well, at least he's pretty in the morning, as much as she's annoyed with him.

"You came too early." Karin mutters, rubbing her eyes in case she's still dreaming.

His response is ridiculously smug. "Better too early than too late."

"You're wrong." She scowls, blinking blearily at him. "Hey, how come I can sense you whenever you're in town?"

Toushirou regards her curiously, his hair windswept and ruffled, and Karin quietly tells herself that now is the time to pay attention because it's a good question. "You can do that?"

"Yeah." Karin shrugs. "Ever since I met you."

"Interesting." Toushirou says, which is not an answer Karin likes at _all_. It must show, because a second later, he's elaborating. "It just means that your _reiatsu_ is high, and you can distinguish other people's _reiatsu_. You can sense them and pick them out."

"Oh." Karin nods, because that makes sense at five in the morning and she'll ask more questions about it later. "Okay."

"Anyway, look." Toushirou turns his head, and there is it, a sunrise, it all its glory.

To Karin's sleep-addled mind, it's just as boring as a sunset. But at least Toushirou looks nice, even if it feels like he's dragged her through hell for no justifiable reason, especially since it's a weekend.

"The view's nice here." Toushirou says, his voice a low croon, and Karin's pretty sure he's talking to himself even though he's making her shiver, and she knows it's not the cold rush of air. For all that he's supposed to be smart; there are moments when she's really glad he's an idiot. "I can see why you like it so much."

She is sleep-stupid, Karin will tell him later. Sleep-stupid and tired and in dire need of more sleep.

But for now, she sighs, and admits, "I don't like sunrises that much either."

Not if the price is him waking her up so early that she has to see it with him.

His blue eyes change from green-to-blue when he looks to her, and it looks beautiful at dawn, and Karin nearly takes her statement back. Except, how can she, when she's sleep-stupid and his lips look soft, and feel soft under hers, and she likes him this much, so why does he have to be so stupid?

His mouth opens, pliant, and Karin jerks back, eyelashes fluttering, trying to capture the soft pastel light that sweeps the morning and leaves her breathless.

She doesn't realize that her hands are on his shirt until she can feel his pulse racing. She lets go and there distance between them is still the same because the heel of his hands are curled around her shoulders, and he looks stunned and slightly hopeless and adorable, and Karin is still too sleepy to think this through as anything more than a hazy dream and she _wants_.

There's still a flicker of mischievousness that runs through her, even at this most evil hour though, because it takes less than a second for her to grin hugely at him, before she pushes him out the window, close the curtains and go back to welcoming sleep, she says, "But I like them a lot better now."

* * *

When she wakes up a second time that morning, at much more reasonable hour, she figures that she finally has a good reason to love sunrises over sunsets.


End file.
